lessons from the trip

A few days before I left on my trip, I had a talk with my cousin David(from my dad's side). He was telling me how he loved to travel, and had done so many times in his life. He said while its great to learn about new cultures, and different areas of the world, the greatest part about traveling is the lessons you learn about yourself and about life as a whole. That thought stayed with me and a few weeks into the trip I decided to write down all the things that I had learned, both the silly, the inane, the poignant, and the important. Now that I am home, I figure I'll share this list with all of you. Then however, I am going to bid farewell to blogging, for a little while at least. I might do the occasional myspace blog, but I will not do a consistent blog again until I begin my move out to California. (which by the way, I have no idea when, where or how? I'm thinking ROADTRIP though if anyone is interested!!) I think I'll put my annalyticalness to sleep for a while, and enjoy my last few months on the east coast.

So here it goes. Oh and I'm putting them in italics simply for dramatic effect. Enjoy!

I've learned.....

• that money cannot make you happy, and sometimes the poorest people in the most dire of situations are the happiest.
• that anyone can be happy when everything is going well. The trick is to find a way to be content, to appreciate or simply accept the fact that not everything can go well all the time. If you can not be discouraged or destroyed when things don't go your way, you have probably mastered one of the hardest lessons in life.
• that the more I learn, the more I realize how much there is for me to learn.
• there are two sides to every story.
• that fear is only useful to stop you from severely hurting yourself or others. Irrational fear is just that, irrational and unreasonable, and should be ignored.
• how to not only tolerate but to actually appreciate a good local whisky with some coke.
• that people are good at heart, with nearly the same hopes and dreams as everyone else. The most important one being happiness.
• that the kindness of strangers will always astound me.
• that expectations, especially high ones usually lesson the experience. Once you remove expectations, you will finally be able to enjoy yourself!
• that some hammocks, a guitar, a little alcohol and some great people is one of the best ways to spend a Saturday night.
• the more you let things happen on their own, the better they turn out.
• the more, the merrier!
• that I need to feel secure wherever I am before I can explore the area. Therefore I need to give myself time to acclimate. I cannot expect to be completely comfortable in a situation immediately.
• that I might not get exactly what I want, but if I allow it to happen, I get exactly what I need.
• that what happens to you is not as important as how you react to it. Bad things can happen but its still your decision to allow to bother you.
• not to judge a book by its cover.
• that if I think I need something but never get it, I really didn't want it in the first place, or I wanted it for the wrong reasons.
• that I really trust fate, or the stars, or some omniscient presence.
• that too often I allow my limitations and fears to hold me back.
• that people who are in bad situations have the opportunity to change it, as long as they have the tools to do so. If they are continually in a bad situation, its because they hold a priority higher, that is forcing them to stay put. If they really wanted to escape, they would find a way.
• that I am the only person who holds me back and the only person that can push me forward. Others can educate me, or encourage me, but I need to do it on my own.
• that nothing is impossible.
• that believing in someone is the greatest gift you can bestow upon another.
• that I can be ready, and I mean dressed to the nines ready, in about 20 minutes if needbe.
• to listen more and talk less. (no seriously!!!)
• that I sometimes need to relinquish some control in a situation and allow others to take responsibility.
• that anything can be carried on the back of a motorbike, such as other passengers(up to 5!), farm equipment, pig carcasses, 5 dozen dead chickens.
• that people see only what they want to see.
• that only you are responsible for your own happiness or misery, so outside forces should not be blamed
• that I will avoid akwardness at all costs.
• that activities are the best ice breakers in a new situation. Giving people their freedom in a new situation is usually detrimental to the experience.
• never to underestimate the power of the surroundings and the environment on your mood and behavoir.
• that I should drop the words 'shouldn't, couldn't and ought not' from my vocabulary. I 'should' only do things that I want or don't want to do as long as I am not hurting others, and drop the notion of what 'I think I should' be doing.
• that I'm alot more of a hippie then my shiny preppy exterior would lead you to believe.
• moderation is key
• that when you are on your own, you are much more apt to put yourself out there, whether it be to meet new people or join a new activity.
• that if you step inside another culture and keep an open mind you may realize there are many more similarities then differences.
• that all cultures and all people want what's best for those they care about, and will do anything to protect them.
• that smiling is contagious.

There it is, there's my list. So thanks David for the idea. I really did learn alot, and thanks to all of you who have been routinely reading my blog. I was really surprised at how many and how far removed my readers are. I hear all the time how people have been "following" my travels or "living vicariously through me", and I am really glad that you all enjoyed my writing and enjoyed my travels. Like I said, I'm going to a little hiatus from blogging for a while, but will be back to document my acclimation to west coast life. Thank you for your loyal readership and definately keep in touch!! (yeah, now that I'm not writing a blog you'll have to actually talk to me to see what's going on... :0))

and I'm home

Approximately 36 hours in transit. From Cambodia, to Vietnam, then Singapore, to Germany and finally the U.S. I was in 5 countries in less then 2 days.

Although I have to say overall it wasn't a bad trip. Unlike the way there which was a 17 hour direct flight from NY to Bangkok, this was split up enough, that I didn't feel like I was trapped by any means. It also took longer to get to Germany(12 hours) then to get to NY(7 1/2 hours) so the worst was over by then.

I have been getting really sad the past few days. I've realized, after being here, that while I know history in general, mainly the highlights, I really am not up to date at all on what is going on in my own country or the rest of the world. I realize I spend so much time watching mindless TV, sitting around, etc, so I've decided to do more reading, especially newspapers and books of relative importance. I began this plight a few weeks into Thailand, reading the Freedom Writers diary. It's the book that is based on the movie. It is written as a series of anonymous entries. Each one made me cry(which meant I was crying every few pages). They kept referring to being in an undeclared turf war, dictated by the color of your skin and the origins of their countries. From stories of rape, and abuse, to stories of drive bys, and being unable to live up to their full potential, I was moved by each individual entry. Yet, even with all the bad hands of cards they were dealt in life, they overcame, thanks in part to the help of their teacher. Although, even though their teacher guided, they all brought themselves out, and made a positive out of a very negative situation.

Then I went to Cambodia, and bought another diary book, which followed different children's plight through the kyhmer Rouge regime. Each entry also made me cry. I have been a very emotional person lately. They were forcibly removed from their homes, separated from their families, completing manual labor for nearly 16 hours a day, with one meal(and that meal being water soup with a spoonful of rice), they were separated from their families, brainwashed into thinking their parents were the enemy, and they watched many people brutally murdered for simply being smart, or just being in the wrong place in the wrong time. Yet, nearly every story ended with the child coming to America (or in a few cases to Australia) and not only graduating highschool, but graduating college as well. They also saw human nature at its worst, and still did not let that stop them.

Finally, on the plane ride home, while watching alot(and I mean alot) of fluff movies, I also watched the movie Blood Diamond. It essentially followed the plight of one man who had found a big diamond, and everyone was trying to get their hands on it using all necessary means. As we watch this man forcibly recover the diamond, we see his family ripped away from him, his son brainwashed against him, and a tremendous three sided war, with the citizens, the "rebels" and the UN type "peace keepers". Everyone was out for themselves, and the AK-47, their weapon of choice. They showed villages being burned down and people being killed like it was a "harmless" video game, not peoples lives. I spent most of the movie crying.

The reason I write this, is because I am baffled at this. I am a history major, and an avid reader, who did not know of many of these atrocities, nor understand the specifics. Yeah, we learn that Hitler wanted Poland, and the rest of Europe "appeased him". I'm sure it was understood by some, that in order to take Poland, that many would have to die, but I guess I just never thought about it. I mean its history, it has already happened. But to read eye witness accounts, or to see the footage on the movie, and know this is a fairly accurate represntation of what occured less then 10 years ago, was pretty scary!!!

In my bubbled experience, known as Upstate NY, I know not one person with a gun. I think maybe my ex boyfriend's dad had a hunting rifle, but that's about the extent of it. In Freedom Writers, most of them came from broken homes, or homes that were never built in the first place(my way of saying, the parents were never married). Not only are my parents still together, but so are nearly all of my good friend's parents, as well as my parents' good friends. In my family, I know of only one couple that have been divorced. I have never known someone who died other then from "natural" causes, and even that number is fairly low. In my entire life I've been to one funeral, my grandfathers.

I have no remote understanding of having to watch my back all the time for fear of being hurt, beat or killed. I have no understanding of having to work for food, or not knowing where I am to sleep that night. I have no experience with violence whatsoever. Actually, just today, a man in a nearby(15 minute drive ish) shot his ex wife around 1 am, and then escaped. He was considered armed and dangerous. The school I went to highschool at, went on lockdown because they were afraid that the man could be coming to the school. That is how alien violence is to my little bubble of an area, that a murder that occured many miles away could be seen as potentially threatening because things like that never happen.

What I can't believe though, is that many of the people affected by the most averse conditions can still lead normal, healthy and fulfilling lives. I know I could be upset for days if someone is mean to me. I would get angry if I didn't get an A on a test. If my parents decided to go only to Florida for a vacation instead of the bahamas, I could be fuming for a while. How dare I? I mean these people have real problems, and are then able to overcome. I think that is incredible.

Being out of the country, and seeing my country and the world from a different perspective has been invaluable to me. Yeah, when I went to Australia, I saw some pretty things and had a few laughs, but it was nothing like this, where I was in a constant state of fun and entertainment, while giving back to the community and learning a whole lot about myself and the world around me. It's like for once, I could really see and understand things for what they really are. I was always a good student, but I never really cared about the knowledge, but the grade. I know it might be fairly late in coming, but I'm finally ready to really learn, no A+ needed. I think I'm going to start to read the paper more, I'm thinking about learning Spanish, I'd like to train to do like a 5k run for a good cause, and more then anything, I wanna be able to help and do what I can to aleviate the sufferings of others. I did not do anything to deserve the life I lead, it is merely the luck of the draw. I think its unfair that my birth gave me this entitled life, while other's birth gave them a life of terror and misfortune. I'd like to do what I can, to make things better for others. I think I need to learn more about them first though.

I do have one more blog coming concerning South East Asia, about the things that I learned, then I might put down the typewriter a while and enjoy my last few months in upstate NY before I make the big move. However, I am definately planning on blogging about my new job, I just can't see you all being that interested in the goings on of me in Upstate NY.

This is it...

I am now sitting, or well standing at the Singapore airport. Since many international flights go through this airport, it has many "transit" amenities, such as free internet, free movies, and if I was here long enough, I could have even gotten a free city tour!!!

I have so far been on two flights, totaling less then 3 hours. I will soon embark on a 21 hour journey, including a stop over in Germany before I am officially on U.S. soil again. I do think its silly that my frist flight lasted less then 45 minutes, yet I needed to be at the airport 2 hours in advance. But I digress.

Last night, in hopes to prove to myself that I can do things on my own, I ventured off on a motorbike to one of the backpacker areas, in hopes to get my nails done and get some good grub. I did both. Upon eating, I met a little Cambodian boy, who earlier in the evening was mocking me as he watched me get my nails done through the glass. Before I knew it, he and I were sharing the same plate of food. (I offered, don't worry). It was one of those one of a kind moments, I will never forget. The same goes for the ride back to the hotel. The hotel, was about a 15 minute motorbike ride away. I am very big though with trying new things. While I had utilized tuk-tuk's quite a bit in Thailand, I had not used the cyclo(which essentially is a bike in back and one lougne seat in front), which is the Vietnamese and apparently cambodian transport of choice, and figured this was my last chance. So after we agreed on $1.50 we head off towards my hotel. After trying his hardest to speak English, and about 20 minutes later, he is sweating bullets and panting. He tells me I should take a motorbike, (although what I heard was Motorbike???). We found some motorbike drivers who would gladly take me to my final destination. As I got on the motorbike, unsure of if I am going to my hotel, or being passed off in a series of transports until my final destination in some type of female slave trade, the cyclo driver asks for his money(by using the universal money signal). I shook my head no. I was not in the desired destination, and I was terrified. He told me to go back on the cyclo, and we were off again. He started muttering alot, and getting really mad, and finally said $10. I said NO WAY. This went on for a few minutes, through a very dark side street. I was really getting nervous at this time. But at the same time, he is a driver in a city, and I showed him both the address of the hotel and the physical location of the hotel, and he didn't seem to have a problem with it when we were first discussing prices. Not only is it a famous hotel, but it is also the tallest building in the city. There should have been no way, that he was unsure of what he was getting himself into. Either way, we arrived at an intersection with more motorbike drivers, and after I refused to pay $10 for a full ride to the hotel, he put me on a motorbike and then asked for money again. I gave him half of what we had agreed on. Then the motorbike driver charged me $1. While I spent 25 cents more then I intended, I did have piece of mind that the motorbike would not decide to get tired, and give up mid way. I arrived safely at my destination, for a long needed sleep.

I think that was the only time in my entire 2 months stay in South East Asia, where I was moderately worried about my safety. There have been times where I was a little concerned, but this tops the list. Of course, this occured in a city, thus increasing my hatred for cities. (You might say, "but Lacy, you are moving to San Fransisco" and to that I will respond, "no I am actually moving to Berkeley, or another suburb, so I get the amenities of the city without living within its confines.") Also though, if that was the scariest, or most unsafe experience of my trip, I'd say that means it was a mighty successful, safe and happy trip overall. Don't ya think?

Ewwww...

I just saw the most grotesque thing of my entire life. A man walked into a salon where I was getting my nails done, and asked for a massage. Then he asked if he could personally select the woman who would complete the massage for him. They women stood in a police style line up, and he simply pointed at the girl he felt best suited him. I have seen and heard some pretty crappy things occuring, but I think that tops it. How would you like to be chosen simply based on a 2 second glance, while standing there being compared to your coworkers. Gross.

So I am officially in the last day of my Cambodian travels and the last day of my South East Asian adventure. I am currently in Phnom Penh, the capitol of Cambodia. Thus, I was able to see a royal palace!!! As well as a proper museum or two. Although, one of the museums was about the Khmer Rouge.

In my hotel, which is also a 5 star, I met a middle aged Aussie(in our private club, only for VIP's...no lie). He is traveling around with his family, and as I was lonely I pulled up a chair and sat with them. After a few minutes, I realized that I did not want to share his company. I have met many people from both western and non western countries. They have all been very openminded, laid back and fun. This man, while appearing fun on the outside, was anything but. He kept telling me how the service was bad in the hotel. And yes for hundreds of dollars a night, the service could have been a little better. He kept saying how if he lived in this country he would simply educate himself and find a way out. He kept reverberating the idea that they were less then us. That they could not handle themselves and constantly needed western support. Yes, they do need western support if they want to be western. But they aren't western, they are eastern. Just because they are not put in our own image, does not mean they are not worthy or any less deserving of respect. He looked at this culture completely ethnocentrically, and criticized it because it wasn't akin to its own.

I never understood until this very moment why American's are encouraged to have liberal arts degrees. I finally understand why I was forced to take a non western class in college, plus 8 credits of Humanities. Although I have never had much practice with it until now, I am now able to look at different economic systems, and different political systems based on their merits and not merely the commonly held belief. I am forever grateful that I have the ability to look at others as unbaisedly as possible, and I wish others could do the same.

As my last officialy night in South East Asia, I am going to head out to the backpackers bars for some grub, and hopefully some good conversation. Unless I can find cheap internet in Singapore, the next time you will hear from me, I will be back in the western and northern hemisphere.

Pursat, the home of....

...well I am still trying to figure that out I'm afraid. So far all I've really seen is the inside of my hotel room and a few choice places around town. Oh yeah, and the school. But first things first.

It took us about 6 hours to arrive in Pursat, including a lunch stop in Battambang. It's very hot here. Please remember that as you read the rest of this. It is also absolutely gorgeous. Not in a postcard perfect kinda way, but in an untapped potential kinda way.

I met my tour guide, who is a student and works for the NGO(Non-Governmental-Organization) The Cambodian Rural School Project, which is the middle man between the donors and the schools. After a quick tour around the town and dinner, I was sent to my room, around 8pm. Not cool.

Quick background for those of you not following the story from the beginning. I decided to go to South East Asia(specifically Thailand and Vietnam) to have a break from life, to volunteer, to give back etc. Then, since I am such a good geography teacher, I looked at a map and saw that Cambodia is right smack in the middle of those two countries. Cambodia is also the location of a school that my dad's cousins had created in their name to boost the education system. I told my uncle of my travels and he insisted I go visit. I expected him to suggest I visit, but I did not expect him to pay for the trip himself or to have me also visit Angkor Wat and Phnom Penh as well. So my uncle, with the help of his son and a Cambodian travel agency created a 5 day itenerary(full of English speaking drivers, personal tour guides and 5 star hotels), so I could experience Cambodian history, culture, and take a gander at the school. The school has relevance, because of Cambodian's recent history. The Khmer Rouge, led my Marxist inspired Pol Pot took control of the Cambodian government in 1975 and led the most brutal, vicious and successful genocide any country has ever seen. Not in scope, but in success, his tactics were even greater then Adolf Hitler. He was even more successful, because Vietnam was the only country aware of the brutality occuring. Unfortunately for the Cambodians, they were involved in their own dispute(the Vietnam War) and could not give them their full attention. The UN was detrimental to the situation, as it did not do its research properly and gave the Khmer Rouge a seat on the security council, which it retained until the mid 90s. The Khmer Rouge, in an effort to maintain power, ripped families apart, and insisted they all work in labor camps. They attempted to brainwash the children, and use them as spies against their "treasonous" parents and families. They even changed the meaning of the word family, to simply mean spouce. They destroyed the education system, using many of them as killing fields(think concentration camps). By the end of their vicious dicatorship, the entire country was home to one highschool and not a single University. So in an effort to help, in 2003, a school was erected in my families honor. Now on with the story...

I went downstairs around 9am to eat breakfast and we were off to the school. After traveling about 25 minutes, past the city, through the town, around the village and down a red dirt road, we finally arrived.

We were greeted by the principal. We were told that there was a school break, from April 5th-April 20th, but most of the students had not returned from break. There are about 250 students at the school. I saw around 30. They were with the school's sole English and Computer teacher. When I tried to converse with him, anything past how are you? he looked at me as if I had three heads. The classroom had a single computer in it, where one student was learning how to type properly. The rest of the students were following the directions of the teacher. When I arrived chaos ensued. Well, really it didn't, but class was essentially over for the afternoon. I was given a brief tour and history of the school. I was shown the old school house, which unlike this one made of cement, the old school house was made of wood(and termites are a big issue here). They have one solar panel giving them limited electricity, and have no running water. They have a "clinic"on property which as some nurses, but no doctors. This clinic serves the entire village. There is another school, a secondary school being built which is funded by a Japanese donor. I then was able to give out the school supplies that I had bought them. I bought enough notebooks, and pencils for each student to have one. I asked if there was anything more that I could do, especially with textbooks, but the guide insisted that was fine. The history teacher in me, thought I needed to give them something educational, so I also bought a globe. We took a few pictures, then the kids scurried off home for lunch. We left shortly after, as there was not much else to do.

I have spent most of the rest of the afternoon, except meal times in my room, because its the only place that has a strong enough fan(there is A/C, but I haven't felt the affects of it yet!) for me to cool down. While its not as hot as Thailand was, I had gotten used to the heat. I have been in A/C for the past 3 days, and before that was in Vietnam which was more then 10 degrees colder, with a breeze, so I simply cannot take the heat.

Now, I'm here. I've been talking alot with the tour guide and driver, and they keep mentioning(although not in a pity me way) how they are a "poor" country, a developing country. I see a myself in a small city/town, with all the benefits of "industrialization" and none of the drawbacks. They all have basic infrastructure, most own cell phones(most of them better then mine!!!), many have cars/motorbikes, most houses(especially in the center) have TV's, they have access to computers and internet, they all have shelter, clothing and food. I don't see this as a poor country. I really don't. They are not lacking in medical supplies(although their dental program could use a little work...) or government programs. Even in the country, they have everything that they need, and many luxuries as well. The only thing missing is some sky scrapers, big business and maybe some more air conditioning. They are made to believe that they are poor because they aren't swimming in money. But what does money bring? Money separates families, creates foes of friends, and fuels individualism. Here, 20 people ride on the same truck to get from one place to the other, and don't mind it at all. Everyone knows everyone's name and they all work together. They don't see each other comepting for jobs, for land, or for wealth, they are all in it together. I think we should be learning from them, not the other way around!

Yes, some may call me an idealist who romanticizes "primitive" cultures into idyllic places, but if I could live in a town like this, with all of my family and friends around(who speak my language fluently!!!!), without the desire for wealth and land, and could simply be happy now instead of ensuring a financially secure "later" I would do it in a heartbeat!! Although I would request airconditioning in the deal!

Siem Riep

Today marked my first full day in Cambodia. Oh and if I wasn't paying for my internet I would post pictures. But time is money people!

I awoke to the smell of flowers, as there were some flowers sprinkled on my pillow. Yes, this hotel is so high class, they don't do mints, they do flowers. Craziness. It was about 830am, when I was dressed, but it was also when I was supposed to meet with my tour guide. Opps. So I found him and explained to him that I woke up late and had no breakfast, so he said "no problem" or "sure", one of the two sayings he used quite frequently, and next thing I know, I was seated at breakfast. I do not think I have had a formal breakfast in over 2 months. In thailand, I either ate toast with nutella, fruit on the street, or food at the school. In Vietnam I was incredibly lazy, would wake up around 10, for a 1030am class, and then just eat a big lunch. This was a white linen tablecloth, western style buffet breakfast. It was definately a sight for sore eyes. Where I'm normally used to rice, noodles, meat and vegetables, I saw pancakes, bacon, and even Hashbrowns. If only they had bagels and cream cheese it would have been absolutely perfect.

I was wisked off to Angkor Thom this morning with my driver and tour guide. I explored many temples, and learned much about Hinduism and buddhism. While they were interesting, the temples began to all look the same after a few hours. It was also incredibly hot and very aerobic! It was great having an individual tour guide, because he answered all my innane questions, without interupting others, he went at my pace(which is about the speed of a turtle) and he took all the pictures for me, so I'm actually in alot of them!!

Then I went to lunch. A buffet lunch. Ridiculous. So much food, but all very very good! While I have not been a huge fan of the food, I have grown accustom to it, but I had heard that Cambodian food is the most different, so I a very glad that I have more choices while here.

Then I was dropped off at the hotel, and given 2 hours to relax before Angkor Watt. I was finally able to enjoy this hotel to its fullest. After lounging around my room for a little I put on my bikini and headed to the pool, where I got a padded chair and all the sunlight I could want. I met a couple from Boston and a few guys on a "business trip" from Australia.

Angkor Watt was gorgeous. It was very beautiful. Although, since everyone I've spoken to while here told me of the grandeuor of this temple, it of course could not live up to the hype, but it was still great nonetheless.

Then I did it. I finally did it. After nearly 2 months of being so close, I finally RODE AN ELEPHANT!!! We had to go up a hill, and there was the elephant option, and even though it was $15, pretty steep, when a whole meal is under $3, it was well worth it!! I also bought some books to bring back to my future classroom.

I have just come back from a dinner show which also was a buffet.

Oh, I also wanted to take this opportunity to vent again about the Virginia Tech shootings. As I returned to my hotel room, there was a Cambodian magazine with the story on the front cover. Inside there were articles about 100s dying in Iraq, and wars all over Africa, but nope, 33 people dying in America makes top story. I am very certain that during the 3 years of the mass Cambodian genocide that it hardly made news let alone the headlines. I just don't understand?

Ok, finished for now, I am paying by the half hour.

Cambodia

So I have arrived, figuratively and literally. Literally I am here. I have physically arrived in Siem Riep, the stepping stone to Angkor Watt. Figuratively I have arrived as well. I am currently staying in a 5 star hotel, in an (or the, I couldn't quite tell) executive suite. My walk-in closet in the hotel room, is bigger then my entire bedroom. The window overlooks a pond that is covered in beautiful lilly pads. I have arrived.

My uncle, upon hearing about my travels in South East Asia, figured that while I am here I should check out Cambodia, because his immediate family put enough money together to create a school in Pursat. So I am like a spy, or an emmisary. Either way, I'm living in style. I have never stayed in a hotel as nice as this even in America!! I can't believe I am able to do this! Tomorrow I sight-see at Angkor Watt for the day, and then I head off to the school. It should be incredible, and I have my Uncle to thank!

It was very sad to say goodbye to Nha Trang. When I arrived I had this high from Nongkhai. I had the most amazing time and could not imagine that anything else could measure up. Of course, with that attitude nothing could. So I took a deep breath, erased all expectations and wound up having a great time, so much so that I did not even want to leave!

I had a great last day. Jade, Ryan and I took some motorbikes out to the country side and trekked/hiked to Ba Ho Waterfalls. It was amazing. I really pushed myself to the limits with all the climbing but it was so worth it. It was absolutely beautiful, but in a very subtle way. I will post pictures when I don't have to pay per minute on the internet. I have never however, felt like I was taking my own life in my hands, as I did when riding on the back of Jade's bike. It's funny though, because all day I was waiting for me to hurt myself, to trip on a rock, to slip and cut my skin, or to get into a little motorbike accident. So after the 45 minute bike trip back, we pull up to Kim's bar, and getting off I burnt myself on the overheated exhaust pipe!! All that worrying about getting hurt on our journey and I get hurt in from of my virtual living room!!!

Then Kim, the bar owner had a farewell dinner for me. I ordered the T-Bone. I mean I just had to!! It wasn't bad at all! Then I went to hang out with these guys that I have been talking to alot lately. Two of them were from Ireland, and picture any Irish stereotype and at least one of them fits it. They were great! The other two were from England, although I didn't meet the second one until this night. I had met the rest of them a few days prior, and they informed me that there was a fourth, but he awoke midday on the beach with a sunburn, a massive hangover and empty pockets. Of course, when I finally do meet him, he tells me how he wants to be a teacher. I just didn't see it though. Jade finally came back from swimming and we joined the boys at the Sailing club. It was really great! For most of the night, one of them was always near by entertaining me, conversing with me or just saying hi. It was amazing. I was an especially big fan of the non-alcoholic(although that is in the eye of the beholder as well) English man, which has joined a list of many English men I have enjoyed being around while here. This makes me think more and more that England or at least Europe is where I want to be for a while.

But why don't I get through Cambodia first, before I start planning my next trip?

America....the land of the free?

As children we are told how lucky we are. We are told how great our country is. We are told to appreciate all that our "forefathers" fought to preserve it. America sees it as its mission to spread the ideals of democracy, freedom, and liberty accross the globe. But at what cost?

Nearly every country I have spent time in is inundated with American media and entertainment. Understandably so in an English speaking country like Australia, but when I can sit in a bar in Vietnam and here at least one English word in each song, and be able to sing along to most of the songs, the American influence is very much understood. When I speak American "slang" to other westerners, or even non-westerners, I do not have to explain myself, they understand because they watch the same movies we do-those from Hollywood. I never feel in a completely foriegn place, because I can easily see or hear something that reminds me of home. Yet, is that a good thing?

America is a dichotomous culture, where on one hand we preach tolerance, diversity and acceptance of all cultures, yet govern ourselves by the will of the majority. We teach our children to be themselves by developing their own character and personalities, yet reward them most for conforming to very strict ideals(such as behavior and grading codes in school) and retaining the status quo. We tell our daughters that they are beautiful no matter what size, shape or color, but then glorify cookie cutter models, musicians and actresses. We tell our sons to respect women, but then allow them to watch music videos and movies where women are mere objects to be used and abused by the male gender. We are shown in school that everyone is equal and should be respected, and then throw them out into the real "dog eat dog" world. We are told that money and possessions do not make you happy, and then are put into a class system based solely on money and possessions. As children we are taught one thing and shown another.

While many other cultures are not our biggest fan, they look up to us nonetheless. Even in Vietnam, who does not allow any commercial international chain restaurants in its borders(except a KFC in Saigon, apparently), and whose country was completely devestated by a war of our making, they see more American culture then Vietnamese culture on any given day. They wouldn't admit it as such, I'm sure, but it seems that they are trying harder and harder to "modernize" in order to keep up with American and other western cultures. I understand that if they or other third world cultures "modernize" they prevent other cultures from seeing them as mere pawns in global politics, but in modernizing, they loose their culture and their identity, and join the melting pot of global culture. But is that right?

This stream of consciousness(which is probably very treasonous as well) has partly to do with the recent shootings at Virginia Tech, and partly to do with the book "Freedom Writers" that I haven't been able to put down since I began reading. While reading the news about the shootings, all I could think of was, that could have been at Geneseo, or at Binghamton, I could have been affected, I could have been shot, and so could my friends. I've heard of shootings in the past, but they have never quite affected me as this one had. These shootings, instead of being isolated incidents, are becoming an epidemic in American society. What are we doing wrong that is producing these tortured souls who feel that they need to kill others? The same thought process runs through my head as I read the diaries of the Freedom writers. Everytime I open the book to read it, I can feel my tearducts filling. Nearly each entry brings about issues of homelessness, abuse and homicide. Why? Maybe its my very suburban upbringing, but I cannot fathom why the senseless misery and murder needs to continue.

When I left on this trip most people thought that I was crazy. My mother is constantly worried about my safely and well being. People fear this place because its unfamiliar territory, and known for hostility. Yet they have no guns. My biggest worry is how to avoid the annoying motorbike drivers trying to offer me a ride to my destination. I feel comfortable walking around at all hours of the day and night. There might be poverty, according to an American ethnocentric mindset. But they are happy, and I'd go out on a limb and say more free then "the land of the free". Parents in these countries do not worry that their children will not come home at night, or won't survive through the day. I have not once heard of a murder or a kidnapping while traveling. It might not have complete American ammenities or infrastructure, but I'd say that its safer and a more fulfilling life. They don't constantly worry about insurance policies and 401K's. They aren't constantly preoccupied with the future, they live almost completely in the present.

As a teacher of English in a third world country, I feel as though I am doing a good service. But at the same time, I am also instilling the same values, morals and thought proccesses that perpetuate the American ideals; the good, the bad and the ugly. Don't get me wrong, I love being American. I love our country's rich and accessable history. I truly believe in the government, and think that it has good intentions, but I also think that America was created upon the ideals of reforming the ills of European monarchy and society, and has inadvertantly created a vast new set of ills that, due to the far reaching American media and entertainment, are quickly being disseminated around the world. It's no wonder that nearly every foriegner that I meet asks me if I own a gun, or know people who do. Because of Hollywood, they think all American's run around with guns shooting people. Incidents like this prove that stereotype right.

I should probably stop here. I know I have not really made any solid points, and have created more questions then opinions or solid statements, but I do have to re-enter the country next few and fear that my potentially treasonous writings could bar me from entering. Yet America has a saving grace. I asked an old friend of mine to edit a political theory paper of mine first semester freshman year. After reading, he blasted me for my blind patriotism and naitevity about American politics, and then began to preach near Anarchy to me. I asked him why he chose to stay in America, if he hated everything about it. Then he told me something I will never forget. He said "that's the beauty of living in this country. You can live here, hate everything about it, and then complain, lobby or find some other way to change it. It is constantly evolving and constantly accepting of its faults." This is why I'm proud to be an American. I hope this ideal, that my friend so fervently preached to me is not slowly eroding away.

I (points to self) teacher...English teacher

When I first arrived, I felt uncomforable talking to the Vietnamese on the streets. I had heard, that all they wanted was your money and the second you refused them, they were completely unfriendly. Well, this was a little bit of an exaturation, but I could only work with the information that I had at the time. Now that I have been here a few weeks, when a Vietnamese talks to me, I talk back and treat him or her like a student. While most of them are trying to peddle products of some sort, they are also trying desperately hard to learn English, so if I have a few minutes to spare, I slow down my pace, and my speech and try my hardest to have a conversation with them. Once they hear, or see(because its mostly through pantimime that I speak to them) that I am an English teacher, I all of a sudden have an eager pupil wanting to meet me again to speak English. Since I am only here a few weeks, I have had to refuse, but a few of the long term volunteers have done this repeatedly and have made lots of local friends in the process. While some are jaded by the two faced-ness of the Vietnamese, I see that they on the whole very eager to learn, very smart but cunning and just trying to enjoy life as we all are.

So I have not spoken much about teaching, because while its my intent for being here, it only takes up an hour or two of my day, and I wind up doing many other things while I am here. Since I only have a few more days, I thought I'd fill you all in on what is going on in the teaching realm of my travels.

So Jade and I teach a group of teenagers. They are absolutely adorable. Full of personality, charm, charisma and general intelligence. Our expressed mission here is to work with these "street kids" in order to keep them away from pedophilia. While we don't see too much of that, that doesn't mean that these kids aren't deserving of our attention. They might not be propositioned on the street, but that does not mean that they aren't on the streets; selling postcards, cigarettes, food...whatever they can to make them and their families a living. Education is not compolsury here, and thus is private and expensive in terms of their meager earnings. For one student to go to school for a year, its about 3 million dong, or about $250. This might not sound like a lot, but you have to get out of the US dollar mindset.

One student of mine is around 15, he is a postcard seller. He begins his day at 930 when he has to walk his brother to Crazy Kim's bar for classes with Ryan and Naena. Then he attends his class with me and Jade at 1030. After class he hits the beach with his satchel of postcards, asking any tourist he can find if they want memorbilia of their trip to Nha Trang. If he sells three packets of postcards, for about 25, 000 Dong each, he's done pretty well. 75, 000 dong, while hardly enough to pay for two meals for my western appetite, could easily buy him, and his brother about three meals for the day. Although these meals consist of a bowl with rice or noodles, a few pieces of meat and some cucumber, for about 10, 000 Dong each. His mother sells Jewelry on the beach front and also has similar successes, making less then 100, 000 Dong. His father is a motorbike driver. Motorbike drivers essentially taxi a single person around the city. For example, today I hired a motorbike driver(with the help of the student I'm speaking of actually) to drive me about 3 miles away to the mud bath spa. He then waited almost two hours for me to come out and drove me back to my hotel. For two hours of his time and more then 5 miles of gas and wear/tear on his bike, I was charged 35, 000 Dong, which is enough for him to buy him and one other person a meal, basically, albeit a little nicer meal then I described early. So you can imagine spending 3 million dong on something that doesn't give them any income in return, does not seem to be the most logical choice. Therefore, while I do not necessarily see the whole child-sex tourism to be a huge presence, I still do see it as a worthwhile cause.

So in an effort to leave the students with a long lasting impact of our brief stay here, Ryan, Naena, Jade and I (although honestly, since I was gone this past weekend, they put alot more energy into it then I have, I'm just an eager supporter) have created a way for the students to gain more money and respect for themselves and their families. We are helping them create their own tour group, where groups or solo travelers pay the students to give them a tour around the city. Since it is not expressly affiliated with the bar(although we are using their name for reputability. Although its a good cause, I don't think I would "rent" a street kid for a day to do tours, without knowing there was something secure behind it, such as Crazy Kim's bar.) 100% of the proceeds go to the students, plus they get to practice their English and stay off the streets. We are working now on advertising, hats, and bringing them around to the sites so they can get as much information as possible. It's been great, because we get to hang out with them more and allow them to practice their English more. While in Thailand, I really liked my "students"(who as you remember were teachers), they were all the way in Udon, a 30 minute drive, and aside from the one field trip and a few emails, I never hung out with them outside of the school setting. These kids, who are the target age I like to work with have endeared themselves to me so much so, that I do not want to leave. I really want to see this through and see them succeed, and not leave them only a short time after I arrived. I guess I should have thought about that before I made the plans. I honestly didn't think that I would bond with them that much in such a short time. Most of them call me "crazy" because they didn't learn my name right away, but simply observed my teaching habits. For those of you who have seen me in the classroom, know that I am a little off my rocker while I teach. Then when they finally learned my name, they had trouble pronouncing it, and kept calling me Lazy instead. Since lazy and crazy rhyme it stuck. My favorite student, who's name is phuoc(and pronounced like a four letter word rhyming with duck) honestly refers to me as crazy and not as Lacy at all. It's funny.

Half the reason I wrote this is because I really haven't mentioned too much about it, and really do think that we are doing some good work and it is one of the reasons I absolutely love it here and am hating that I have to leave. The other reason is because two new volunteers just arrived this weekend, and they are already leaving because the kids aren't "street" enough. Which I think is complete bullshit. I guess they are art therapists who don't really like teaching english(then why are they in a program to teach English??) who are trying to tap into the kids psyches and reveal their deepest darkest secrets. When only stories of a few molestations and some hunger came out of this art therapy session, they decided that they wanted to go to an orphanage or other area where there are "real problems". In one way I can understand because they do think that they will have a bigger impact in a more higher needs population. I mean, I feel the same way about teaching in the innercity. But at the same time, they are here for one month, and have made a commitment for that month and two days later decide that the kids aren't "street" enough. I don't know about you, but no one in my family ever touched me inappropriately and I never went a day without food in my belly. These kids might not be dirty and bleeding, but they are still in definate need of the education that we provide, and it really insulted me that they said that. Especially since I am so bonded to these kids and want only the best for them. But I guess if they aren't wanting to work here, then they might as well leave now, before the kids suffer.

a title that never fits

I stole that from Jovanna I think, or maybe Krystal? Either way, I have realized that I named my blog the lonlieness of a long distance traveler in haste. As I mentioned in the last blog I made friends everywhere I went the first few days of my "solo" trip, and I made even more friends the last few days.

So I decided to stay in Hue the next full day and went on a motorbike tour, run by the bar I was quickly becoming a regular at. When I arrived the next morning to begin the tour, there were 6 other people there. Two couples and two girls traveling together. Great I thought to myself, I have been meeting all these people and its come to an end, as often people who travel in pairs have no desire to talk to others. Well of course, leave it to me and my gregarious personality to make them all talk to me, even if they didn't want to!! One of the couples was from San Fransisco, which is great, because I now have a good contact there, when I move! The other couple was from Denmark and I wound up having lunch, a self guided city tour, dinner and drinks with them, and another German guy the rest of the day. We honestly talked, the four of us for like 8 hours straight! It was great! I also ran into Paul and his two sisters from the day before and made tentative plans to hang out, although they quickly got into a fight with the tourist agency, and I did not hold my breath for seeing them later on.

Oh yeah, the city tour was pretty great too! We saw some pagodas, the tomb of an old emperor(the city I was in served as the Vietnamese capitol for much of the 18th and 19th century!), how incense was made, impacts of the "American war", and some picturesque places. We also had a pretty bad experience, with the girl from San Fransisco. While on the motorbike, her and her driver swerved to avoid a crazy dog and wound up skidding on the ground. She got pretty scraped up, but I didn't think much of it. That was until she had like a mini seizure and blacked out for a few minutes. We saw them later on in the night though, and she was doing just fine! Its funny, because the entire time I was so worried that something horrible was going to happen, by allowing someone else to drive me around the city on a motorbike. Yet, after I saw the worst of what could happen, I realized it really wasn't that bad. I often allow that fear to stop me from doing most things, and while I do not wish to have my body scraped up, if it happens sometimes, and I get to enjoy my life more, I think I prefer the scrapes, to the fear.

Although the foursome wanted to go out longer, and wanted me to stay the next day, I knew I was tired, and wanted to head back to the hotel. When I told them I was taking the morning bus to Hoi An so I could explore that town, before taking the night bus back to Nha Trang, they were genuinly upset. They said they were going to hire a Vietnamese person, and paste a picture of my face on the Vietnamese, so they can feel like I'm still there. It was really sweet. Either way, I wanted to explore Hoi An, and so I did.

While Hoi An does not have the cultural/historical attributes, it does have one unique thing; its numerous tailor shops. Essentially each of the many stores in town have skeins and skeins of fabric (such as silks, cotton, suade, khaki etc.) and samples of clothes as well as books and books of styles. As I have mentioned, most clothes in South East Asia does not fit me, because the people in this entire side of the world is about half the size of a westerner, so when I had the opportunity, I took it. I have Nicole's wedding to go to as soon as I got back and thought it would be great to have an Asian style dress that fits me perfectly. Unfortnately, to get a proper fitting, you were supposed to stay in town for a few days, to go for fittings and ensure everything was ok. I was there for 5 hours, ordered 2 dresses, a tank top and a pair of pink silk sandels. The town, which is known most for its peaceful and laid back lifestyle, was the most stressful 5 hours I have had while in South East Asia. Somehow, as it always seems to though, it worked out, and I have some great new clothes, that might just need a little more work done on them by my mother.

The bus ride back to Nha trang, from 6:30pm until 7am was definately not the dream that the ride up was. I saw with a woman from the Czech Republic who wouldn't sit with this one girl because "she was too big", although I was certainly bigger then this girl was. She then decided to wear a wool blanket and turn the A/C off, and take up most of her seat and mine. She was not a big lady by any means, but she just really spread herself out. I had to repeatedly ask her to move over, so the handle was not making a permenant mark in my hip. It was dreadful.

Overall, I had an absolutely great time! I was really nervous about going alone, as I said, and I found that I was hardly ever alone! At the same time though, I had no expectations, and did not hold anything to high standards, and therefore enjoyed everything for what it was. Although I am still not a fan of the complete transient nature of traveling, I think I could see myself doing it through Europe for two months, as long as I have people to see every couple spots. It was great to do something that I was terrified to do, and not only "get through it" but I really enjoyed myself!!!

I can't believe my two months in South East Asia are almost coming to a close. I have had the time of my life here and don't know how I can say goodbye, but at the same time, I'm so happy to go home and do all the great things that I have planned. I feel like I have gained so much confidence and a new sense of life and fun here, and I can't wait to spread it to the rest of my life.

Knowing that I am leaving soon, I am devoting the rest of this week to touring around Nha trang to its fullest potential, including finally seeing a waterfall!!

Report from the trenches

I have just returned from a lovely 12 hour tour of the Demilitarized zone. Although lovely is quite generous as is tour, I still learned and saw alot nonetheless. The tour guide unfortunately spoke really bad English and we spent more time sitting on the bus then sight seeing, but either way it was an eye opening experience.

The American war, as the Vietnamese call it essentially began as the French lost its hold on the country, in the mid 1950s(Dien Bien Phu). America who had been backing France realized it had to take matters into its own hands to prevent the domino effect. Fueled with Red scare fever, they split the country in two, on the 17th parallel, also a river, forming a 10km Demilitarized Zone. (shown in picture to right, this statue was on the Southern side) Once split, the Vietnamese had less then one year to decide who they had alliegence to, the Communist North or the American backed South. There was to be an election to reunite the country after that year, but that election never came. The American's used the split to garner support and get the support of the people of the South. The war waged on for nearly twenty years with neither side making many strides until Khe Son, which occured around the same time at the Tet Offensive, when the Western media finally realized that they were not winning the war, and public opinion essentially forced Nixon to abandon the war, giving American's their first military loss in their history(if you are really interested on my theories of the media's impact on the Vietnam war, I wrote my senior thesis on it and will email it to anyone interested.)

This is the American perspective, and very abbreviated. I was hoping to get the Vietnamese perspective, yet due to the unhelpful tour guide I was unable to hear the history, and only able to absorb the present and what was presented to me. So to dispell some myths....

Vietnam is not some dirty, horrible jungle. As I hope you see from the pictures, it is a great, vast mountinous area. (although even the pictures don't do it justice) It's topography definately aided the Vietnamese army, but it also greatly hurt the people. We visited a group of tunnels that the citizens of the town had dug in order to protect themselves from the invavions. Entire cities were built underground within the mountains. Yet unlike the amazing architecture of US bombshelters which were glorified in movies such as Blast from the Past, these tunnels were bareboned, small, dark and dingy. We walked through them, but don't let that smile fool you(I'm guilty of that cheesy American smile), it does not mean that it was a happy place to be. Each family was assigned a room, which was no bigger then a 4 door car. It was essentially made out of wet clay, constantly staining everyone's clothes. They had separate little alcoves for the toilet, for living areas and for hospitals. 17 babies were both in those tunnels. (for anyone curious, the people in the statue are fake, but definately scared the crap out of me when I first saw them!!) It was a horrible life. In the middle of the day, me and the 30 other Westerners I was with could hardly get through the tunnels without tripping and falling. The lighting was horrible, and I'm fairly certain it was alot worse 50 years ago. It was small both width wise and height wise(although do remember that Vietnamese are on the whole alot smaller then Westerners), and I had to duck repeatedly to get through. They warned the Claustrophobic that it could cause an attack. Imagine having no choice. Imagine being citizens of a country where other, more powerful coutries always seem to know whats better for you, and impose that opinion forcefully. Vietnam had been fighting for its own agency, for its own independence for over a century, first from China, then from France and finally from America. One of the people on the tour asked us, "well why didn't the citizens of this town move? Why did they have to go underground." First of all, why should they have to move? It's their country!!! Second of all, not having good communication, they would have had no idea how widespread the war was, and where it was safe to go. Especially with bombing raids so frequent you could set your watch by them. While the rest of the stuff we saw, such as part of the Ho Chi Minh trial(which supplied the North), army bases, and museums, this one site had the biggest impact on me. This would be similar to walking into a concentration camp in Eastern Europe and having them pretend to put the gas on, to show you the fear that the persecuted felt. I felt that fear. I couldn't stand to be in those tunnels for the 20 minutes I was down there, how could people have managed two decades?

I am really glad that I came here. This is exactly what I wanted to see on my travels. Thailand was great to understand the culture, and the present, but I was hoping Vietnam would show me some of the past. I was especially hoping to see a past not full of American propoganda(although I am sure I saw some Vietnamese biases, if only subtely). As a historian and future history teacher, it is important to see both sides of the story, and then ascertain the truest account you can based on the confirming evidence. Here, I see a country who wanted its freedom, and super powers who wanted to impose their own view instead. This was not a war concerning Vietnam whatsoever, it was a war of ideologies, in which neither side won. Yes, Vietnam might be communist, but from what I can see its just as Capitolistic as America. The market economy still exists, as does private property. The authories might be more overtly covert and their "progress" might not be as comples as our own, but other then that they are capitolist in all but word.

Overall this was a great experience and something that I have most been looking forward to since I booked the tickets to South East Asia. I wanted culture, and I have it coming out my ears, but now I have more history as well. Coming here, makes me realize how much I really would like to visit Europe and spend some time there to really get to understand the roots of American culture, as well as my roots, especially in Austria and Poland. I hope to soon. I also got to realize how great it is to travel on your own. As my previous blog stated, you are never really alone, even when you think you are. So maybe I was a bit hasty naming my blog. Oh well.

Although I haven't firmly made the decision, I think I am going to stay here another day and leave back to Hoi an the following morning, spend a few hours there and then take the night bus back to Nha Trang. I am debating whether or not to spend more time here, or spend more time in Hoi an. But our bus broke down about 2 miles away from my hotel, and I decided instead of waiting(I really had to pee!!) I just decided to walk it, and surprisingly I made it accurately(and unscathed!), and also got to really see the city, and I think I wanna do it justice and explore it for the whole of tomorrow instead of just the morning. Isn't it great that I get to make decisions like that?

Ok, this blog is long enough, but also one of the most important, I think. Peace out yo.

When you're alone, you're not alone, not really allllllone

10 points to whoever can name the movie the title is from!!!

So I've been on the road a little over 24 hours and I have to say I am not only surviving, but I am really enjoying myself.

I waited at my hotel at 630pm for the bus, but found out that it did not arrive til past 730pm. I was almost ready to throw in the towel and ask for a refund, but I waited instead. I got a row on the bus to myself, but I was soon joined by a cute boy who's name I found out 16 hours later was named Paul. He immediately took out his book to begin reading, yet asked me a generic question or two. Next thing we know its nearly 1130pm and the whole bus is silent so we opted to stop talking and attempt to sleep. The bus stopped at 1am, and we all got out to pee and eat. Since I had ignored my friend's in Nha Trang suggestion to buy food before I left, I was very very hungry. After the stop, we talked on an off the rest of the morning. He was a 21 year old from Perth, who was a tradesman. He had been traveling for a few months, and his sisters wanted to join him and choose his time in Vietnam to do so. I am not sure what we spent so much time talking about, but we never seemed to run out of things to say.

We arrived in Hoi An at 6:30am. I knew there was a bus leaving to Hue at 8am and one at 2pm. Traveling wise I thought it better to go right to Hue, knowning that I could always come back to Hoi an. I bid farewell to my new friend as his sisters had already booked him a tour for the day(random: he said to me "cheers for the company"...silly Aussies). I found a travel agency and found a tour to take at My Son through the Cham ruins/ancient city. My tour left at 8am. The bus pulls up, and my new friend was in it, along with his sisters. He finally introduces himself as he introduces me to his sisters. One of his sisters was great! A teacher, really bubbly and friendly. The other one hardly spoke two words to me. I wound up hanging out with them most of the afternoon at My Son. My son was essentially an ancient village of Cham people(chinese Hindu's), that the Viet Cong used as a hiding place during the Vietnam war. Out of 68 temples on the grounds, only 20 of them remain intact. Everywhere you could see bombing craters and buildings in virtual ruin. I apologized on behalf of my country. I met another group of people also from Australia, but adults, because my new friends had moved quickly through the tour and I wanted to take my time. I met back up with the siblings but quickly bid them farewell again because I had to get back to the travel agency and they had a boat tour already booked, however I have this feeling that I will see him again tomorrow, as they are traveling up to Hue.

I board the bus at 230pm and after a stopover in Danang, we arrive around 530 about 1KM away from our destination, and we sit there for almost an hour as the busdriver and operators change a tire. I finally arrive around 615 to one of the main backpacker alleys, to a child asking me if I was staying for the night. I nod affirmatively and he takes me to his hotel. Since I had studied my Lonely Planet guide book, I knew this one was in there, and knew it was something I could trust. After showing me expensive rooms with internet in room and 3 beds, I got them to give me two single beds with TV, Air Con and private bathroom for $8 a night. Not bad at all.

I spend an hour or two relaxing as I have not had any sleep in over 24 hours and had pretty full days, but quickly realize that I need to eat dinner. I head to the first place opens, that winds up being the most reccommended bar in the city. I am quikcly joined by two danish brothers who are endlessly fascinated with the fact that I have never seen any "good movies". About two hours later I bid them farewell, promising to return tomorrow, as I have to get some sleep because I am exploring the DMZ at 6am tomorrow morning. Yet, I am now online.

I am really enjoying myself. I am amazed how easy it is to talk to people while traveling alone. I assumed I would constantly feel akward, or look like a social leper, but that is not the case. I had the option to travel with one of the volunteers to Saigon, but I chose instead to give it a go on my own, and to travel to places less well known, and more culturally and historically rich. I think I made a great choice. Even in Australia, when I traveled alone, I merely did it just to do it, but here, I am really enjoying myself. Its very exciting to always be meeting new people, and realize that I can do things on my own. I am hoping tomorrow, I will be rested enough to stay out fairly late and really get to see if I can "go out" on my own. I can't believe how much I have grown and tested myself here. Australia, Italy, France, even Disney was nothing compared to what I am learning and experiencing here. I am really on my own, and not only surviving but having the time of my life.

Oh and having free internet in the hotel definately helps.

Peace out, see ya on the flip side!

SCUBA DIVING!!!!!

So I did it. I scuba dived. Scuba dove? What is the correct form? I'm not sure. And I teach this. Anyways. The story begins(and will be explained why later) the night before. Jade, my scuba partner, was laying on her bed. I could see her from the balcony from my room. While we are at the same hotel and on the same floor, we live in separate buildings. Yet our rooms are aligned and I can see right into her room. Creepy a little? Anyways. Naena and Ryan were there with her. I scream(at 1130pm) to try to get her attention. None of them can hear me. I try calling her, while staring at her room, her phone is busy. Finally, I grab some ginger that a student had given me, and get ready to chuck it at her room, in order to get her attention. Naena finally looks up and through Naena, Jade and I make plans to meet for breakfast and head out to be at the scuba place by 7am.

We were to meet at 6:15am. 6:30am, and no sign of Jade. I call her, her phone is off. I call out to her. No response. I grab the ginger and throw it at her window, but to no avail. Finally, I walk my lazy ass down my two sets of stairs, and up her two sets of stairs and knock on the door. She was asleep. She gets ready quick and we head to the place. We each have an egg bagette sandwich for 6000 VND(16000=$1USD). We get on the bus, which leads us to the boat. There are about 30 other people doing various things in the water from snorkeling, rescue courses and scuba training. There are 6 of us doing "discover dives", which essentially lets us scuba dive like we had our liscense with limited training. The only catch is that we have a "master diver" holding on to us at all times. They basically do everything for us, we just enjoy the ride.

We first meet the crew, but a very entertaining diver. We then split up into our groups. We learn basic dive concepts/vocabulary and the 5 handmotions for up, down, slow down, problem and equalize. The instructor had a very severe asian accent and I found it very difficult to understand him.

Jade and I opt to go in the second group. We lounge around on the boat for a while, taking massive amounts of pictures and talking with anyone that crosses our path.

It's finally our turn. Jade goes first, and I watch her put on her gear and plop in. Ever since Laos, I don't like the jumping in bit, so I opt not to. I make my "master diver" put on all my gear on after I am already in the water. There is a man who volunteers to take pictures for me as I make my ascent into the water. I now have so many pictures of me in the water, which is great. So the Master diver tells me to put my mask on and put my mouth over the thing-a-ma-jig that connects to the oxygen. Then I am to put my face in the water, glide me along and see how I do. After about 10 seconds, my face comes back up and I am gasping for air. I cannot handle the breathing. All I wanna do is get out. I try again. I keep just my face underwater for about a minute. Its still very hard. I feel like my lungs are going to collapse and I might actually die. She tells me I am doing a good job. I feel like I will never be able to do it. I try one more time. I notice it starts to get easier. She then tells me we have about 20 minutes left and we should give it a go. I agree. We make our descent, probably about 10 feet or so. I am only focused on my breathing. I don't see anything. She keeps picking up shells and giving them to me, or showing me other pretty things. All I can think about is my breathing. Then all of a sudden, I realize that I am not going to die. That I can breathe. Then I start to enjoy the scenery. I see fish of all colors shapes and sizes. I see some coral. I see schools of fish. I see their whole life and I love it. I realize that I have slowly gone up and I see the surface. I come up and rip my mask off. My master diver freaks out and does a bunch of things to my suit and then asks me what's wrong. I say nothing. Apparently I was not supposed to go up that quickly and that was the improper way to do so. Oh well. We come to find out that we actually took too long and the boat was waiting for us to leave.

We go to another dive site, and I decide to do the second dive site, along with Jade. Now that I was used to going underwater and having artificial breathe, I really got to enjoy myself. The coral was amazing. It was like an underwater city. It reminded me of shark tale, the animated movie. It was great, I absolutely loved it. We went about 30 feet underwater, I think. At first she was leading me around by the hand, but by the end, I was leading her, and getting to explore everything! She told me I was a natural. I'm very sure I am not. My ears really started to hurt the second time.

So as I am getting up for the second time, the head diver, who has been busting on me all day continues to bust on me. He told me that I should tell all my friends about the Diving company. Since this was our developed repoir, I tell him I have no friends. He says "figures". Then I tell him, that none of my friends but Jade were interested. He asks me if I am staying at the Dong Phoung hotel. I answer affirmatively, and look at him strangely. He asks me, "so did you meet your friend for breakfast?" I am very confused now. He informs me that he lives next door to me and heard our whole interbuilding conversation. What a small world!!!! The guy that is the head of our boat, lives in the room next door and has been for 10 months. So now we are in a little sound war, where we both try to make as much noise as possible to bother the other. Very entertaining.

I am definately glad that I went. It was a great experience and one that I will not soon forget!

After diving Jade and I headed to the beach for some rest and relaxation. I fell asleep, and next thing I know, Jade is giving an impromtu English lesson with some of the cigarette ladies. Then a bunch of teenage girls come, and I help them as well. Only with Jade would this happen!!

I am now off to Hoi An and Hue for some culture and history. I should be back by Sunday sometime. I will put all the scuba pics up on shutterfly as well as pics from the waterpark and long beach when I return!

quick acclimation

It feels like I have been in Vietnam for a very long time. I cannot believe that less then 2 weeks ago I was in Thailand. For all my whining and complaining when I first get to a place, I actually acclimate pretty quickly.

Dong Phoung has become my new home, as Crazy kim's bar has become my new living room. Except for Jade, I think my favorite person here is the DJ, who's western name is Bad Boy. Yeah, that's a little akward, but he's really entertaining. He doesn't know English very well, but he knows all the slang. So its funny to talk to him. There is an Italian restaurant run by Vietnamese woman. She smiles and waves like we are good friends every time I go by. I take this as a compliment, that I really live here and am not merely a tourist, because she used to try to get me to sit down and eat at the restaurant.

The second you step foot in Nha Trang, you notice two things; the sparkling blue water and the Vietnamese women and children peddling everything from postcards and cigarettes, to food and books. You are told to ignore these people. They will pester you, or tell you that they have no money and they need money to eat. I have gotten to know alot of the students who are also the postcard sellers. Now that I know their personalities and realize how great they are its hard to ignore other kids peddling stuff on the streets. They are very friendly and playful. You can just bust on them, and kid around with them, since they know a fair amount of English, even the ones that don't come to class. I can't go down the street without knowing someone, which is nice. Many of those peddlers mentioned earlier have stopped bothering me because they recognize me as a semi-permanent resident and not a tourist.

I like that I have become a regular, a constant. I feel like I always need to make somewhere feel like home before I can like it. That is how it is here. There was no way I could love this place as much as I loved Thailand, because I had such high excpectations, there was no way for it to measure up. It is interesting and different, but in a good way. It's more relaxing. I am learning how to be more independent. I'm glad that I came.

When I first came here, I felt akin to the tourists, but I realize I am not. All they want to do is party, and sun bathe. I don't. I don't mind being social, but getting drunk every night has not nor has ever been my thing. I am surprised at how many people I am meeting, and how at ease I have gotten with the process. Not just the staff at Kim's, but I have been befriending others who pass through, and talking with anyone. I need to become more comfortable doing that I think. I have the fear of strangers in me, that has been drilled in since primary school. While I should be wary, I think my acute fear of the unknown is sometimes unnecessary and often crippling. I am slowly trying to get over this.

Yesterday we took the children to the water park. All 6 volunteers were supposed to come, only me and Jade went. We had a great time, minus me being incredibly burnt. We swam/played from 9-11am and then had lunch. After lunch, we played card games. We taught them our card games, and they played bullshit and spoons with us. They also tried to teach us their games. The only thing we see from these games is that they all have cards in their hands and they slam them down while saying something violent sounding, then everyone else starts slamming their cards down and then all of a sudden someone is the winner. We have videos of it, and I will post them soon. They, like the Thai children are so bosterous, and always having fun. It's great to see!

Today Jade and I took some bikes and went out to the Long Sun Pagoda, known most for its huge Buddha, and great panaramic views of the city. A monk talked to me. Since I worked with monks alot in Thailand I thought nothing of it, but apparently he is not even supposed to look me in the eye. He gave me a flower, and touched my hand while giving it to me. I've already corrupted monks in Thailand(I played footsie with one, and another told me "I'll see you in my dreams tonight"). Luckily Jews don't believe in Hell, or I think that is where I'd be headed.

Tomorrow Jade and I are going on a discover dive, with my favorite rainbow diver Craig. I am thinking about getting my scuba liscense, but I wanna try it out first. We'll see then. Wednesday night, I am heading out alone to go to Hue and Hoi An, which are both very historical/cultural. I am hoping to really enjoy the experience on my own, instead of just merely go through it, like I did when I traveled alone in Australia. We'll see I guess.

Bedtime now, so we can wake up early and DIVE!!!

Blackouts

So I haven't posted much lately. This is mostly due to the semi regular power outages that occur throughout the city of Nha Trang. In the past two days, whenever I have had time to use the computer I have been unable. Since power outages are so regular here, it does not stop the flow of the town; the restaurants cook with charcoal, the people take out their candels, and business resumes as normal.

Things have been running along smoothly here. Jade and I went from teaching one class a day, to three classes a day(athough the other two are more laid back/less structured), so by Friday, we were tired of planning. We went into our main class with enough activities to last about 15 minutes(of an hour long class). Well Crazy Kim's school for street kids is a staple in Nha Trang and travelers/backpackers often make a stop in Nha Trang for the opportunity to volunteer and work with the students. Usually we have an extra hand or two in the classroom, but on Friday we had 6 extra hands in the classroom, giving us 8 adults and 16 students total. After we completed our innitial activity, we figured we would take advantage of the help and had each volunteer take a student or two and read with them. We were so lucky that they all came when we did, and it wound up working out really well!!!

After shopping and teaching some more, Jade and I decided it was time to paint the town red. We began at a bar a little off the beaten path. We were greeted with "hello teacher", as one of our adult students was the waitress. A few minutes later, we recieved another "hello teacher", as another of our students who had just gotten to work. Yeah, so we were served alcohol by our students. Weird, I'm aware. I taught Jade the card game Casino and we spent about 2 or 3 hours playing at the bar. Then we headed back to Kim's(the bar that we teach in) to pick up Trang, one of the girls that works at the bar. We ran into some of the volunteers from earlier that day in class(not travel to teach volunteers) and we brought them along with us to Why Not? Bar(where you dance around in Air Conditioning!!!). So essentially, we arrived at the bar as 5 people all from England and the American as well as the patrons of the bar covering most of Western Europe. I spent the rest of the night getting asked questions such as "are you ashamed of Bush?" and other political/social questions from a middle aged gay man from London, and questions such as "you didn't mind that guy bumping into you?" from a very drunk 20-something man with dreadlocks and a cast on his arm. All in all a very entertaining but random night.

Today, we(as in the travel to teach volunteers) decided to all get together and go somewhere. Destination: Long Beach, where you tube in the shallow water, lay on hammocks as the water flows underneath you, and pick your seafood as its swimming around in the tank and then watch them kill it and cook it. All in all it was a pretty great day. However, Shaun and Kat backed out last minute. So it was Naena the multilingual German, Jade the fun loving Brit, Trang the Vietnamese Lesbian, Ryan the bitter yet entertaining American, and me. It was not as sunny as I would have liked, but at least I got some pretty great pictures and a pretty fun time.

Oh, and I found out how to post videos and pictures, so check with the links at the right of the blog for some entertaining videos and my photo albums!!